LONELY
BY EMILY WHITE
Despite having a demanding job, good friends, and a supportive family, Emily White spent many of her evenings and weekends alone at home, trying to understand why she felt so disconnected from everyone. To keep up the façade of an active social life and to hide the painful truth, the successful young lawyer often lied to those around her—and to herself. She was suffering from severe loneliness.
In this insightful, soul-baring, and illuminating memoir, White reveals her battle to understand and overcome this crippling condition, and contends that chronic loneliness deserves the same attention as other mental difficulties such as depression. "Right now, loneliness is something few people are willing to admit to," she writes. "There's no need for this silence, no need for the shame and self-blame it creates. There's nothing wrong with loneliness, and we need to start acknowledging this through a wider and more open discussion of the state."
Interweaving her personal story with the latest in cutting-edge scientific research—as well as the incredibly moving accounts offered by numerous lonely men and women—White provides a deep and thorough portrait of this increasingly common but too often ignored affliction. By investigating the science of loneliness, challenging its stigma, encouraging other lonely people to talk about their experiences, and setting out one person's struggle, Lonely redefines how we look at loneliness and helps those who are afflicted understand their mood in an entirely new light, ultimately providing solace and hope.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Emily White is a former lawyer who now works as a writer and policy advisor. Her first book, Lonely: A Memoir, has been selected for the Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers Series. Originally from Toronto, White now lives in St. John's, Newfoundland, on the far, far east coast of Canada.
REVIEW:
Emily White has written a memoir that I believe is unlike any other. In LONELY, White describes what it is like to live her life in a state of loneliness. Although she had grown up in a fairly typical family and went on to have a successful career, friends, and what looked to be a normal life, Emily White struggled with loneliness. Recognizing it for what it was, but unable to explain it or change it, she decided to investigate it. White found that loneliness really is an actual field of study and there is research to support that. By contacting doctors and searching the Internet and academic resources, she found out what the research that is out there has to say. She also interviewed many people about their battle with loneliness. She explains that loneliness is not to be confused with depression, and there are also different kinds of loneliness.
With that, however, do not think that this is a scientific study or self-help book. Writing about her own life and her research made this a unique and fascinating memoir. Emily writes about how she was lonely even though she had friends and writes about how her “normal” day would go but then when asked to socialize, she would find an excuse to avoid it in any way that she could. After a while, she actually retreated almost into seclusion making continued excuses to friends and family as to why she wasn’t available, or couldn’t say yes to an invitation. Her story does sometimes mirror the research she found in that her parents divorced at a time when her two older sisters were almost grown and soon after moved out as was normal to do at that stage of their life. She believes that was the beginning of her condition. Emily White clearly tells the story of her own withdrawal into isolation and her eventual return that includes a personal relationship. Writing about her life and her research made for a fascinating and unique memoir. She hopes it may serve to help others who are experiencing the same thing.
AT HARPER COLLINS PUBLISHING,
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95 comments:
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waitmantwillie at hotmail dot com
I found it interesting that White is advocating loneliness as a mental health issue. I agree but never thought about it in that context, I wonder if enough advocacy would merit it a formal diagnosis in the DSM.
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I love it when I find an author who is loving the same books as I do and I really enjoy Kate Atkinson's Jackson Brodie series too.
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I find it interesting that the author equates severe lonliness to depression, in terms of mental health. I don't know if it would ever be considered though, because by definition, seperating oneself from peers, is a symptom of depression.I would really like to read this book.
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I found the point that White provides a deep and thorough portrait of this increasingly common but too often ignored affliction--sort of attention grabbing.
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I am addicted to memoirs. I am a follower.
Laura
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I am an e-mail subscriber. saubleb(at)gmail(dot)com
I am intrigued with this topic and the reaseach that the author did in order to write this book. saubleb(at)gmail(dot)com
I would love to read this memoir. I never realized that there were different types of loneliness. I didn't know that a life of success, good family, good career, a person could still experience loneliness. I would love to read this memoir.
teakettle58(at)yahoo.com
This author loves any type of cat. saubleb(at)gmail(dot)com
Emily White loves to wear worn out jeans. Jeans are comfortable, the older, the better. ::))
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I like the aspect of psychology this memoir has on the disorder. I'm interested in seeing what research she has in it.
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I find it interestign that emily is a environmental protection lawyer.
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Her favorite pet is a cat.
Interesting that Emily White could be lonely even though she had a supportive family.
I would love to read this book it is an important topic now.
Eileen-wiseowl
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Wow, this sounds powerful, and like something I could relate to. I would love to read it.
I think it is so interesting that Emily White had a successful career and friends and family yet she was lonely. I think this is difficult for people to understand and it certainly intrigues me. It's something I have often thought about, too, the idea that you can be in a room filled with friends, family, people who love you and yet feel utterly alone & lonely. I am anxious to read this memoir and what Emily White discovers. Please enter me in this giveaway!
Thank you!
~ Amy
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I find it very interesting that Emily White's favorite TV show is 30 Rock, she obviously has a good sense of humor!
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JHolden955(at)gmail(dot)com
I found that Emily is a tea drinker like myself.
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I find the whole idea of her writing a memoir about being lonely interesting...after all, who really wants to admit that?
Thanks!
JHolden955(at)gmail(dot)com
I find it really interesting that loneliness that she is saying loneliness is a mental health issue. I would be very interested in reading on this further. Please enter me in contest. Thank you. Tore923@aol.com
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I usually enjoy being alone but occasionally I probably feel lonely. I would like to understand more about the differences.
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I like how she was brave to write a book about her loneliness. It might push someone else to overcome their loneliness.
caliblue7 at gmail dot com
Check out my giveaways at Bookish Delights. One book giveaway is ending tonight(5/15)-3 bookshelf books(you choose which one you want)/3 winners. Your dream book giveaway ends later 6/5.
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Emily's favorite food is pasta!
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What I found interesting is that I can kind of connect with the whole idea of loneliness that she feels. I kind of want to know what she does and how she gets through it to help me.
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aksimmo at brainerd dot net
I guess I just always thought loneliness was a part of depression, not a seperate diagnosis.
aksimmo at brainerd dot net
I find being loney probably common in a lot of people, depression too. I suffer from drepression. I'd love to read this book. Sounds like a good read.
chirth7@yahoo.com
Her writing ritual is interesting. I think Mine would be coffee since I drink it day and night. lol
My writing rituals include…
tea, tea, and more tea.
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I follow you on twitter. Romantic73
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Also I just want to say your's is my favorite blog! You giveaway the best books out there. Love your reviews and author interviews too.
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Her choice of career as vet.
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First off I have to say that I'm a big memoir reader. Now, to answer the 1st question, I find it hard to believe that with her career and family that she ever found time to be lonely. I see myself in her to a point.
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I want this book because I lost my husband at an earlier age to brain cancer. I know what lonely feels like. I think I can realte to this book and would like to read it.
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My idea of a dream vacation is…
a house by the ocean with nothing to do but read and walk. That's nice I agree with that.
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I'd like to read this book based on the title alone. My daughter would like this book. I'd like to enter for her.
grandmalarkin@yahoo.com
I found her choice of music interesting. I've never heard of it before.
The music I'm really into these days is…
Great Big Sea's traditional Newfoundland songbook.
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While I suffer from depression, I've also suffered from loneliness. To me, they are very different things. I think it's great that there is a field of study devoted to loneliness. I'd love to read this book and see how someone who suffers from loneliness has learned to get past it.
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I think alot of people are lonely, but I also think that there are alot of people that are alone but are not lonely. I love having my time alone and I never feel lonely. I guess I'm lucky. Sounds interesting - count me in! Thanks
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I would like to enter this giveaway..Very often people tend to mistake loneliness and depression for being one and the same and would be interesting to read how the author differentiates the two in her memoir...
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I find it interesting that loneliness and depression are considered separate mental health issues but I wonder if loneliness often does lead into depression. Very interesting subject most people are unwilling to talk about openly.
This is such an intriguing topic. I'm interested in learning more about White's research.
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Proud to be an American
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Very interested in reading and finding out what she did to get herself through it. Thanks for the giveaway!
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This book encourages lonely people to connect with others who are also lonely.
nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net
Emily loves to cook and eat pasta.
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